is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
