I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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