Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Bring me that man meat
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
