it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
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