I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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