Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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