Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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