I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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