fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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