I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
