Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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