I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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