Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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