At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
