chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
