DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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