It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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