when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
