its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
