About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
