Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
