You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
