We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Naked. naked and bneed help.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
