So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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