I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
