new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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