I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
This house was built for laser tag.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
