Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
