Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
