I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
