She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
