If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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