So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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