plz talk dirty to me
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
