Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
