I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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