There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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