We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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