Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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