Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
