And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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