if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
