i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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