DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
