if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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