i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
