i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
