I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
