Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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