I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize