neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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