my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
