This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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