o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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