Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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