Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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