it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
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i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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