I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
