My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
