just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
