dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think my fart just growled at me.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
