I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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