ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
