Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
