she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
